my sisters under your porch take her home
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
