we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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