Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
