Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
