White coat. Heels.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
