officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
