You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
