Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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