Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
