Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
