so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
