if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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