Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
