god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
