New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
