everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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