The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
