I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
