Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
