Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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