dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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