I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
