It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
