I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
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Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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