I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Who died my cat blue again?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
