i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
