The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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