I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
