He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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