Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
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What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize