That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i already hear my dad disowning me
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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