Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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