he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
