After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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