Soap is not a condiment
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
