The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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