I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
