Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
