I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
