i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
