I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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