i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
