I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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