he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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