I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
