i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
false alarm, still single
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
