C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
