someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
