please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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