I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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