His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.