I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.