Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
