Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
