I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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