And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
