is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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