I wish life had little blips of pornography
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
