I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
