Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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