The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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