How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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