He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
