I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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